RWP was born in Manchester, in the north of England, in the late 1950s, so he is very old. He really liked the north of England, which by 1965 was hip and had three TV channels, and where he went to a coed school. His parents, for reasons best known to themselves, then yanked him away, to Belfast and then Dublin, which had one TV channel that started up at 6 pm with the Angelus (Catholic call to prayer). He also had to go to an all boys school, where he realized he really missed girls. This probably let him focus on schoolwork, though, and at age 19, after he had finished college, he set off for America, where he still resides. He has a bachelors degree in biochemistry and a Ph.D. from Harvard in biophysics, and has lived also in Mainz, Germany, Setauket NY, and Richland WA. He currently divides his time between Nebraska, Rosslyn VA, and Florida.

Friday, September 14, 2012

How to get ahead in academia

Faculty version.

Professor Smith: I'd really like a raise. Jones over at Enormous State University makes 50% more than me, and I kick his ass scientifically.

Dean: So you say. Prove it!

Smith starts writing job applications. He gets a set of interviews, and then eventually a big offer from Ivy-covered College. He shows the letter containing the big offer to the Dean.

Dean: I notice we're underpaying you here, Smith. We'll rectify this immediately!

Administrator version.

Board of Regents: How about a free house? And maybe a pay raise?

Administrator: Oh, OK!

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